Warning: session_start() [function.session-start]: Cannot send session cookie - headers already sent by (output started at /usr/local/apache/htdocs/secretlemur/index.php:5) in /usr/local/apache/htdocs/secretlemur/includes/bootstrap.inc on line 862

Warning: session_start() [function.session-start]: Cannot send session cache limiter - headers already sent (output started at /usr/local/apache/htdocs/secretlemur/index.php:5) in /usr/local/apache/htdocs/secretlemur/includes/bootstrap.inc on line 862

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /usr/local/apache/htdocs/secretlemur/index.php:5) in /usr/local/apache/htdocs/secretlemur/includes/bootstrap.inc on line 531

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /usr/local/apache/htdocs/secretlemur/index.php:5) in /usr/local/apache/htdocs/secretlemur/includes/bootstrap.inc on line 532

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /usr/local/apache/htdocs/secretlemur/index.php:5) in /usr/local/apache/htdocs/secretlemur/includes/bootstrap.inc on line 533

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /usr/local/apache/htdocs/secretlemur/index.php:5) in /usr/local/apache/htdocs/secretlemur/includes/bootstrap.inc on line 534

Warning: array_key_exists() [function.array-key-exists]: The second argument should be either an array or an object in /usr/local/apache/htdocs/secretlemur/includes/module.inc on line 217

Warning: array_key_exists() [function.array-key-exists]: The second argument should be either an array or an object in /usr/local/apache/htdocs/secretlemur/includes/module.inc on line 217
Quick Review | Secret Lemur
warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /usr/local/apache/htdocs/secretlemur/index.php:5) in /usr/local/apache/htdocs/secretlemur/includes/common.inc on line 141.
Attention Kept: One measly hour Will I play it again: Between now and when I sell it back tomorrow? Seems unlikely.
lair_boxshot.jpg

I initially ragged on Lair complaining of its awful control scheme. When given the choice to watch Mansquito, an awful Sci-Fi channel movie and playing Lair, I initially opted for the more entertaining option of a movie about a giant bug-man.

Interestingly, after much complaining from, well, everyone, Lair's developers have finally seen fit to allow us the choice of not using the motion sensitivity option on the PS3. As it turns out, the control scheme isn't the problem. The problem is that the game just sucks. Read on for my updated take on this game...

Attention Kept: Just under nine hours Will I play it again: I doubt it.
sins_boxshot.jpg
I really wanted to like Sins of a Solar Empire. I think Stardock is a great company with exactly the right stance on copy protection (it's harmful to everyone). And I think Ironclad Games is doing a fantastic job of listening to their customers. The very same day that I posted a review complaining about the lack of speed control options in Sins, a helpful reader pointed out the fact that a recent patch corrects that oversight.

So, with handy dandy speed controls in hand, I gave Sins of a Solar Empire another go. Objectively, I can say that Sins of a Solar Empire is a very well designed real time strategy game. Subjectively, it bores me to tears. But this is obviously a matter of taste.
Attention Kept: About 45 minutes Will I play it again: When someone makes a game with it, sure.
crysis_boxshot.jpg
Crysis finds itself among that rare breed of games that differentiate themselves by having ludicrous system requirements, but fail to bring anything actually interesting to the table. I downloaded the demo for two reasons. My primary reason for downloading it was to see if by brand spanking new Alienware machine could play it. It can. Thankyouverymuch, Alienware.

The second reason was to see if I cared enough about the game to actually buy it. I don't.
Attention Kept: A little over two hours Will I play it again: Probably. I'm a masochist and I'll forget how hard it is.
trauma_center_boxshot.jpg

Trauma Center: Under the Knife is a strange little DS game where you play the role of surgeon in a soap opera. As a surgeon, you have to excise tumors, remove shards of glass and dose your patients with a bunch of green goo using the stylus as your surgical instrument. As a cast member in a soap opera, you must strike striking poses and read a bunch of melodramatic dialog.

When the game is going well, which is to say, when I'm not killing the patient, I love it. It's great. But when the game gets hard, which is to say, when I'm killing the patient, I hate it. When Trauma Center is hard, it's brutally hard: just like in real surgery, a single screwup can kill the poor sod on the table. And having to skim through all of the pre-surgery conversation over and over again so that I can just kill the patient again is pretty frustrating.

So, as much as I love the game play and the idea of Trauma Center: Under the Knife, my heart just can't take the stress. And that's pretty much all I have to say about it.

Attention Kept: 4 hours? 5? Seemed like forever. Will I play it again: Not unless our alien overlords demand it.
blacksite_boxshot.jpg
Blacksite: Area 51 is a squad based FPS in which you (eventually) get to shoot it out with aliens in, as you might expect, Nevada. With one of Blacksite's core production team members saying that "...the game was disastrously off rails." it's no real surprise that while Blacksite does have some fun moments, it's no COD4.

In fact, once the initial newness wears off and you start getting into some of the more poorly designed missions, not to mention outright bugs, the game really takes a turn from kind of fun to super annoying. It's almost as if the further into the game you get, the less attention it's received by the developers. As it happens, that's just how I felt: the further in I got, the less I wanted to pay attention to it.
Attention Kept: 30 pain filled minutes Will I play it again: Can't. Took it back.
sof_pb_boxshot.jpg
I played the first Soldier of Fortune game on my PC way back when. I didn't buy it, mind you. It came free with my Razer gaming mouse. It was fun and was notable for being one of the first games to have localized damage. So, with all that in mind, I was looking forward to some over the top terrorist killing fun when I picked up Soldier of Fortune: Payback.

Wow. What a disappointment. The only thing, and I do mean only, that this game has going for it is some nice graphics. They're not remarkable in any way, they're just nice. You know, they basically live up to current generation console game graphics expectations. In all other respects, Soldier of Fortune: Payback is one of the worst FPS games I've played in recent memory.
Attention Kept: 6 minutes Will I play it again: No need.
boxasteroidsDeluxe.jpg
Asteroids and Asteroids Deluxe is one of the many classic games available for download via Xbox Live Arcade (XBLA). Following in the footsteps of games such as Time Pilot and JetPac Refueled, it has both a classic mode and an "evolved" mode. Classic mode is the Asteroids you remember. Evolved mode is the same game with modernized graphics and sound, but otherwise identical gameplay.

In 1979, Asteroids was new, exciting and fun to play. But you have to remember, the competition back then was Pong. As much as I loved Asteroids as a kid, the game just hasn't aged well. The controls are clunky and the gameplay, well, it lacks the kind of depth we've all grown to expect in arcade style shooters.
Attention Kept: A single sleepy hour Will I play it again: I don't think I "played" it this time.
pw3_boxshot.jpg
Based on reviews and the popularity of previous Phoenix Wright games, I expected to be in for a unique courtroom-drama inspired treat when I picked up Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trials and Tribulations. But then I remembered that "kozakanani" (a mixture of dried and seasoned sardines, flatfish and shrimp) is also considered a snacky-treat in Japan. So, while my expectations were lowered, I wasn't expecting outright crap.

Even if snacky-treats are lost in translation, a game on its third installment must have some value, right? Right? Well, you would think, but then they did just release the sequel to Manhunt, so there's clearly a hole in my logic. Maybe it's the fact that idiots keep buying crap games and saying "please sir, may I have another" after discovering that they suck. Stop it.

At least I have an excuse.
Attention Kept: 3 hours or so Will I play it again: Well, maybe not everyday
tn_EverydayShooter_1.jpg
Available exclusively as a download from the Playstation Store ($9.99), Everyday Shooter is one of a growing crop of retro-styled Robotron inspired games. Left stick move. Right stick shoot. Since that part of the equation is already settled, it's what you're shooting at that matters. And Everyday Shooter manages to make shooting at things worth doing, even if it is freakishly hard.

It is one of the few reasons I bother to turn on my PS3 and is, in fact, the best PS3 exclusive game currently available.
Attention Kept: Somewhere between 2 and 3 hours, I think Will I play it again: Maybe
folklore_boxshot.jpg
Folklore is a fantasy RPG which takes place in approximately modern times. I know that it's "modern" because there are telephones and magazines. I know that it is fantasy because there are fairies. The things which differentiates this game is the manner of combat: in the netherworld you capture the "ids" of bad fairies. These "ids" then do battle for you.

Thing is, as nice looking and interesting as it is, it's also horribly frustrating which makes it a pretty hard game to recommend. This is turning out to be a pretty common theme on the PS3. Sony needs to get its act together.
Syndicate content